"Not that I have already obtained this, or have already reached the goal; but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me His own." Philippians 3:12
So, I write today with a heavy heart. I feel as though I am able to share this because I find strength in numbers ,and I know that I have many prayer warriors that stop by my blog to lend us support . You all mean the world to my family.
I knew this time would come at some point.....I would be triumphing through this hardship amazed by my strength, going through my days with minimal tears and an occasional break down by myself, after putting the kids to bed or while driving down the road. Today, however, I crashed....
Last night, my grandmother, who is the absolute love of my life, was taken to the ER for chest pains. To give a little history, she suffered a stroke and heart attack two years ago, which resulted in a triple bypass surgery. She is my last living grandparent and has always been an amazing mentor to me. So, my sister and I are sitting in her room as the nurse is asking her routine questions, and she comes to a question about stress. "Have you undergone any stress lately?" My grandmother who usually is unscathed , replied, "Well, I have been upset lately because we lost our babies." "My granddaughter over there lost her twins."
Now, I know that she didn't stress herself into a heart attack on account of my babies, but I had no idea how much losing the twins had hurt her too. It took all I had not to lost it right there in the hospital room. God has been good to me with providing me with strength during difficult situations lately, and I think my cup has run over....and it's okay.
It's okay not to be strong everyday. I took my kids to school today and I took myself back to bed.
I woke up and tried to reflect on other people in the world who are going through difficult times and thought to myself that we all share the common bond of going through hardships in order to reach the ultimate goal.
Thank you, dear friends, for once again listening to me and allowing me to ask for your prayers. Thank you for letting me share my story and for supporting my family. I am not perfect by any means, I am just a person trying to deal with a life changing loss. That's all.
Thank you God for giving us these children, even if for a limited time. Their life has made such a difference in my own life.
"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thessalonians 5: 18
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