6 week Post Op.....

This past Friday was the day that I had been anticipating for the last few weeks. Although it seemed as though the painful memories of June 17th were now months behind me, it was hard to grasp that it had only been 6 weeks. I honestly think not being able to recall some of the events and admitting to a little denial was indeed some sort of defense mechanism that carried me through the last 6 weeks like it was all a blur. However, now I was here...I was pulling up to my OBGYN's office by myself . A million thoughts ran through my head as I pulled in the parking lot to see that it was full except for the "Expectant Mother's Parking" which had one opening. I really wanted to drive away screaming because I knew that I wasn't one of those women..nope...not today. I thought well if I don't go then I don't have to face the fact that's it's a done deal and this pregnancy is extremely over, and I don't have to look at those other pregnant ladies who are in their "30-something" week of pregnancy like I should be too, but instead I am on my last day of my period!!!! What is up with that?!!!!
But, as I pulled my car into a nice shady spot, and I parked, I took a deep breath and began to relax....I could do this. I knew that what I was feeling had to be normal, but I wasn't going to let it get the best of me.. I had to move forward ,and I had to face this day .
I know that I have said this a million times but God has truly blessed Michael and me with an amazing doctor and staff. They took me right in and straight back to Dr. Joseph's office where he was sitting and waiting on me. You just can't walk into his office without a smile on your face because he lights up a room and I really needed that.
My appointment went extremely well, and even though we have closed the chapter on this pregnancy, I continue to think about my precious angels everyday. My life will be forever changed because of Sam and Charlie. No one will ever know what it was like knowing my sweet boys while they were alive except for me , and I am so thankful for that experience. I still cry for them and will for sometime, but as each day passes and life moves forward we move on as a family knowing that God has amazing things in store for us....because of our boys.